Many Happy Returns
by Gabi Howard
Summary: A series of snapshots of Light's birthdays, as seen through the eyes of Sachiko.


On his first birthday, everything is perfect. Of course it is, it had to be- nothing's too good for your precious boy, and as proud new parents you're almost expected to make the event as lavish as a party aimed at not-quite-toddlers can be (well, Light's walking already so he sort of counts, but the rest don't). Soichiro hovers around the edges with the other fathers as a veritable brood of clucking, giggling mothers is unleashed on the house along with their little ones. Someone produces a camera from somewhere, chronicling the endless adorable moments (well, as far as you're concerned, even if Soichiro is being his usual stiff-upper-lipped self and refusing to admit just how cute the children are) and starting a semi-tradition of having all the guests pose together. The fact that all of them bar Light need help to stand and gape at the camera just makes the moment all the more special, and you all the more proud.

It's only a short party, but it's a lovely one, and in the moments of calm before the clean-up, you feel a huge sense of contentment with the party, your family and life in general. Of course, during the clean-up, Light will sit in all the wrong places and cling to the duster _every_ time it brushes past him, the charm of which will wear off after about 7 sweeps and a near-fall. He will also protest very loudly, and very stubbornly, all the way up to bed, but the moments before that are ones you will always cherish.

On his third birthday, Soichiro does nearly all the work. The parents that previously stayed to keep babies upright now find themselves running haplessly after a rather large bunch of precocious, sugar-high toddlers as you sit in a corner. The growing bump that is Light's soon-to-be sibling excuses you from joining the 'fun', and even when you attempt to get up to perform minor tasks, Soichiro fusses and sits you back down again. As such, the constant tripping, falling and shrieks of admonishment all manage to appear somewhat amusing, even more so when you consider that a group of responsible adults is being thwarted by their two-to-three-year-old offspring (and you've got a sneaking suspicion Light's the ringleader).

The house is even more of a mess than last time, and if it weren't for the fact that Light was the birthday boy, there'd be hell to pay for him from Soichiro after the party, but you haven't had such a good time in ages.

Perhaps even for two years.

On his fifth birthday, Sayu is old enough to know that blowing out candles is something special, a landmark moment in her as-yet short life. She therefore fails to see why anyone but her should be allowed this privilege, and throws the most almighty tantrum when Light steps up to his birthday cake. He stops in the act of leaning across the table as everyone glances across at his year-old sister. You do your best to hush the child and when that fails, you get up to quietly carry Sayu out.

"Mummy?" Light calls.

"Sweetheart, it's fine. I can handle this- blow out your candles, there's a dear." You give him a reassuring smile as you head for the door.

"Mummy, Sayu can blow them out. It's okay. Would you like that, Sayu?" The baby stops her wailing instantly. Her pudgy fingers reach out over your shoulders for the cake, and a huge grin spreads across her tear-streaked face.

"Sweetheart, are you sure?" you ask uncertainly (he's only five, after all, this is a big moment for him), but he nods in response, so you carry Sayu back over.

As she blows out the candles, you glance at Light, who grins back. The room darkens, the guests clap, and you've never been so proud.

On his seventh birthday, Light insists that the cake is bought, not made ("All the boys in my class get their cakes from the shop, Mum, it'll look silly if I don't."), and you try not to feel just a little bit sad as you take him down to the bakery to pick one. He's growing up, after all, and maybe you should just get used to the fact that he's not going to be your little boy forever. One day, he won't be at home to celebrate any more, and a cake is a cake wherever it's from.

Still, you miss making it, and as you carry the dinosaur-shaped cake home, you can't help but hope that one day he'll change his mind.

On his tenth birthday, you take him and his friends to a theme park. A group of none-too-tall children in such a crowded place would be any other parent's nightmare, but Light somehow manages to persuade the other boys not to run off, to stay by you and Soichiro and not to lose it at the sight of the first rollercoaster.

Well, until said rollercoaster hoves into view, at any rate. Then they're off, even Light running with them after just a moment's pause. You exchange glances with Soichiro, picturing the looks on your friends' faces when you inform them of a series of impending catastrophes running through your heads that have happened to their little darlings, and Soichiro pelts off into the milling crowd before you've had time to blink.

Of course, since the group's made up of a birthday boy and other people's children, there's not much of a telling-off involved, and they're still allowed on the rollercoaster. _Still,_ you muse as you find somewhere to sit down _it's probably brought us that much closer to a heart attack._

On his fifteenth birthday, you're not involved. Not much, at least- you hand him some money in the morning, wave goodbye as he and his friends head off down the road, and that's about it. Sayu sulks because she wanted to go with them and meet Light's new girlfriend (everyone you know says she's lovely, but Shiori could still be a little... unsuitable for Light, for all you know), so you've got some work to do cheering her up, but that's about it.

There isn't even a birthday cake.

On his seventeenth birthday, it's just him and Shiori (they make a lovely couple, despite your earlier misgivings, and she's welcomed into the family like one of your own). It's snowing that morning, and they delay heading off to retaliate against a snowball Sayu throws at Light's head. Before long, it seems as though half the street's involved, and somewhere amidst the chaos the pair slip away quietly.

There's still no cake, but there hasn't been for three years, and you've grown used to it.

On his nineteenth birthday, you make him a cake for the first time in however many years it's been- memories lose their temporal value when someone involved is gone. The party is comprised only of you, your husband and your daughter, sitting around the table, eating birthday cake in the presence of the birthday boy's photo. Sayu is quiet, whilst Soichiro sits in grim silence, barely touching his slice (he seems to know something you don't, but then again, he was there when _it_ happened).

Tomorrow, you'll go out. Maybe to the cemetery, but you're still not entirely sure if any of you can handle that. Not yet. Perhaps next year, seeing the gravestone with _Light Yagami_ carefully engraved on white marble might not be so hard.

Maybe next year you won't be pretending he's still there.


End file.
